Open to anyone who wants to see Hiroki/ 'Kashi / not quite Shiro whatever, and to any who helped him

[somekindofspaceuncle]

His search for a way home brought him nothing at first, for hours, for days, but then, he desperately called out to the Black Lion. And whether his a bit weak Quintessence right now, his very frayed spirit, was heard or not, he knows this: he's found a way home, if just for a few moments.

And then he's back. He looks shaken, but differently than just days prior. He knows things now.

And he looks around, making sure he's in Nexus. He is. Possibly near a library, possibly near a hotel, or a bar, or a restaurant.

He bites his lip and plays with his hair with white tufts and with black, still there, and rubs at his eyes, as if to make sure everything's still there and his own, not lost to him. He is...

Well, he is, is here, let's leave it at that. He laughs a little, mirthlessly, then stops upon hearing himself. No, this is... he musn't have regrets. He has no rights to those, ever. He has no right, none, not after everything's he (gave in and) done (if he struggled more, and more, more, could he have helped-- he thought he struggled as much as he could've, but how could that be true, if he still gave in, even in front of-

Katie, Lance, Keith, everyone, and whoever that new Altean girl was, and, Lotor-

So, no, he has no rights to any going back, none-

He knows that, now. He thinks so. He's here because-- he promised, a few people. Can't just go away if he has swore.

"Am I dead?" he mutters, under his breath.

(He's very much alive as far as the Nexus is concerned.)

"I'm probably dead," he adds, still under his breath.

He shakes his head, as if checking that he can still do so, with his own head. The important thing was, is, that apart from the Castle, everyone and everything was safe, for, huh, his definition of safe. He should be celebrating that right now. He should. Maybe he will, soon. It did no one any good to get caught on petty, selfish details.

Yeah.

He stretches a bit. Since he still apparently has own muscles, here, might as well use those to get less tense. Accidentally, he yawns. Just, outright.

Er.

Comments

2/2

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"To tell you the truth, I have nowhere left to go. Nowhere."

There's sorrow there, pain-

"I just don't know what to do, if I can't go back."

Longing.

And he just. Quiets down now, apparently not ready to say any more.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy slips out of the hug and takes his hand to lead him to the new townhouse. He stops though and turns back to Hiroki.

"That's not true." There's that stubbornness again. "You can always come with me."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

'Shiro' nods, not trusting any words he might say right now, so, just, nods.

No, not 'Shiro'. Hiroki.... Hiroki Shirogane. Hmmm... maybe. Why not? there was no one left for him to be, anyway.

Because Takashi Shirogane was Takashi Shirogane. And therefore he, he couldn't be-

...alright. Then, let's try 'Hiroki Shirogane', he thinks, through some confusion and exhaustion. Hiroki, hm? He wants to hear the name said, outloud, again and again, until it might be his own, if it ever can, or any other, but this one feels - somewhat cherished now. He could take it.

He looks as if he might gesture or something, while he stumbles for words, but. It's very apparent that he'd gesture already if he still had his right arm.

Transition between arms, understanding that the right one really is gone, again, will take a bit. As is only natural.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy is paying attention to the tempest of emotions and smiles. Leaning in he places a kiss on the right shoulder close to where the arm should be and then takes his left hand.

"You don't have to talk, Hiroki. I can understand some without words." He then starts leading him toward the townhouse if he'll come along.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

That was a relief. Still, something needed to be said.

"Sorry, I think I... need to drink. Water."

Pretty badly.

And yes, definitely water. Or something. He could imagine drinking alcohol and getting drunk to forget everything, but the paladin doesn't think he could stomach any alcohol right now. And he feels absolutely parched.

He could just go and-

However, he doesn't want to be alone right now.

Either way-
He'll just follow Ziggy, trusting him.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"As soon as we're inside." Ziggy comments and leads them the couple blocks to where he is staying now.

The townhouse is smallish but comfortable and brightly colored as one might expect from Ziggy. It's only when they're inside that Ziggy lets go of Hiroki.

"Make yourself at home." Ziggy meant that as he headed to the kitchen. A moment later he returns with a glass of water for Hiroki, and a glass of whiskey for himself.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

The house is surprisingly cosy, honestly. Interesting.

He sits down.

He was feeling, all in, rather 使い古す, maybe, or-

Yes. Pretty worn out. But not to the point of losing consciousness, anymore. Maybe there was just nothing to lose there, anymore.

He drinks in silence, pensive. While also making sure his hand isn't shaking. Good thing it's not, right now.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy is watching and can feel the worn emotional state. There's not much he can do about it though. He sits down beside Hiroki, close, as close as he can sit without being in his lap.

He's quiet, nursing the whiskey and unsure what to do. He's had hundreds of lovers probably, if he cared to count. Flings, one night stands, a person beside him for a night when he felt isolated but this was different. So different he didn't know what to do. He just leaned his head against Hiroki's shoulder waiting for something. What that something is, Ziggy has no idea.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

For the first time ever, 'Shiro' idly wonders whether Ziggy just really likes to touch people.

Curious.

But, comforting, so he'll say nothing, for fear of losing that.

No, he has to say something. There's something that needs be said. No matter how much he hates that. The words don't come easily.

"I owe you an explanation."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy thrives on contact. His people, or well his mother's species and his father's personality, seek contact as part of communication and expression. He's not always quite so touchy as he is with Hiroki, part of that is attraction and part of it is something about him allows Ziggy to feel feminine. He could curl up with him for hours in silence and be happy.

"An explanation for what?" Ziggy asks curiously, lifting his head off the other man's shoulder to gaze at his face.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"Everything. I began to explain, I think, but I was quite chaotic about it. About - my self. And everything."

He takes a deep breath.

"Ask me anything."

There's guilt, too, and it feels as if he needs it, needs something, needs to say something, or some guilt will continue to eat him up. That's what this might feel like.

And more.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy is about to say something about it being ok but then stops with his mouth open. He sighs and looks away.

"I haven't been clear either." He'd always kept things away and never spoke. Though really, this human was a clone from a different reality. He couldn't be that dangerous. Maybe.

"You can ask me too." He's deflecting the question from Hiroki because he doesn't know what to ask.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"Does Honerva know about you? Oh, of course she knows. You've tried to repel her."

He's almost forgotten about that.

"I hope she never comes to Nexus. You could be in grave danger! She doesn't like... insubordination."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy laughs quietly and leans back against Hiroki's shoulder.

"My people are pacifists, but I'm not defenseless." No, Honerva had taught him that there was something inside quite capable of fighting when he was desperate, even if he didn't like to.

"I'm always in danger anyway." He shrugs because he was always on the verge of being killed at home.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"You are?"

"I'll protect you, if you are. Whatever it takes."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"You need to look after yourself first." Ziggy's words are firm but compassionate. "Hiroki, on my Earth just dressing like I do has caused people to hurt me, being myself is dangerous but it's what I need to do. They don't even know I'm part alien or it.. the government would kill me probably."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

He nods, solemn.

"Which is why I will protect you. As many t- nevermind. I will."

So, that's settled. The clone smiles a little.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy blinks a moment trying to process. "Are you saying that you coming to my Earth to tour with me?"

There's a moment when all he can do is imagine what media would do if he suddenly showed up with a handsome one armed man at his side. It would be a circus.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Without thinking, without any kind of thinking or consideration, he answers, with feeling,

"Yes. I am."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

It takes a minute for Ziggy to process, especially the protectiveness he can feel.

"Ok." He finally gets out. "It won't be for awhile. I just started writing."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"I-if you'll have me."

What was he even saying???! How could he have said such a thing? He glances at Ziggy, searching for any signs of the other being mad or shocked.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

That question stops his breath for a beat before he smiles, almost shyly.

"I want you." The words come out tainted with a desperate tone. Ziggy feels tense after saying them. He's afraid of wanting anyone to stay and yet has felt lost and manic every time Hiroki has left. He really doesn't know how to read his own feelings in the moment.

"I did tell you that you could stay here with me." Those words are more even toned and natural.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

There's a desperate want, one that anyone who's ever met anyone called 'Shiro', no extra empathy needed, would notice right now, in the young man.

"I want that, too! Please-"

"But- only if. You must first promise me, honestly, that if I'm ever a danger to you, you'll leave me. Promise me. I couldn't live with myself if I'd hurt you. When you've been so kind to me."

So, if ever... leave. And never look back, he thinks. Won't say, he's said enough, he's sure.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

The feelings that come after his blurted words cause his heart to race and emotions flutter wildly.

"No." Ziggy says stubbornly as he nouzzles into Hiroki's neck. "I will find you help but I won't abandon you. I know.... I can feel that you don't want to hurt anyone."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"That's not your call, and how stupid can you be, what if I love you, and don't want to kill you if something happens, if I'm ever again not myself?! You utter-- idiot!!"

He's yelling now.