Open to anyone who wants to see Hiroki/ 'Kashi / not quite Shiro whatever, and to any who helped him

[somekindofspaceuncle]

His search for a way home brought him nothing at first, for hours, for days, but then, he desperately called out to the Black Lion. And whether his a bit weak Quintessence right now, his very frayed spirit, was heard or not, he knows this: he's found a way home, if just for a few moments.

And then he's back. He looks shaken, but differently than just days prior. He knows things now.

And he looks around, making sure he's in Nexus. He is. Possibly near a library, possibly near a hotel, or a bar, or a restaurant.

He bites his lip and plays with his hair with white tufts and with black, still there, and rubs at his eyes, as if to make sure everything's still there and his own, not lost to him. He is...

Well, he is, is here, let's leave it at that. He laughs a little, mirthlessly, then stops upon hearing himself. No, this is... he musn't have regrets. He has no rights to those, ever. He has no right, none, not after everything's he (gave in and) done (if he struggled more, and more, more, could he have helped-- he thought he struggled as much as he could've, but how could that be true, if he still gave in, even in front of-

Katie, Lance, Keith, everyone, and whoever that new Altean girl was, and, Lotor-

So, no, he has no rights to any going back, none-

He knows that, now. He thinks so. He's here because-- he promised, a few people. Can't just go away if he has swore.

"Am I dead?" he mutters, under his breath.

(He's very much alive as far as the Nexus is concerned.)

"I'm probably dead," he adds, still under his breath.

He shakes his head, as if checking that he can still do so, with his own head. The important thing was, is, that apart from the Castle, everyone and everything was safe, for, huh, his definition of safe. He should be celebrating that right now. He should. Maybe he will, soon. It did no one any good to get caught on petty, selfish details.

Yeah.

He stretches a bit. Since he still apparently has own muscles, here, might as well use those to get less tense. Accidentally, he yawns. Just, outright.

Er.

Comments

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy laughs quietly and leans back against Hiroki's shoulder.

"My people are pacifists, but I'm not defenseless." No, Honerva had taught him that there was something inside quite capable of fighting when he was desperate, even if he didn't like to.

"I'm always in danger anyway." He shrugs because he was always on the verge of being killed at home.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"You are?"

"I'll protect you, if you are. Whatever it takes."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"You need to look after yourself first." Ziggy's words are firm but compassionate. "Hiroki, on my Earth just dressing like I do has caused people to hurt me, being myself is dangerous but it's what I need to do. They don't even know I'm part alien or it.. the government would kill me probably."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

He nods, solemn.

"Which is why I will protect you. As many t- nevermind. I will."

So, that's settled. The clone smiles a little.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy blinks a moment trying to process. "Are you saying that you coming to my Earth to tour with me?"

There's a moment when all he can do is imagine what media would do if he suddenly showed up with a handsome one armed man at his side. It would be a circus.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Without thinking, without any kind of thinking or consideration, he answers, with feeling,

"Yes. I am."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

It takes a minute for Ziggy to process, especially the protectiveness he can feel.

"Ok." He finally gets out. "It won't be for awhile. I just started writing."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"I-if you'll have me."

What was he even saying???! How could he have said such a thing? He glances at Ziggy, searching for any signs of the other being mad or shocked.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

That question stops his breath for a beat before he smiles, almost shyly.

"I want you." The words come out tainted with a desperate tone. Ziggy feels tense after saying them. He's afraid of wanting anyone to stay and yet has felt lost and manic every time Hiroki has left. He really doesn't know how to read his own feelings in the moment.

"I did tell you that you could stay here with me." Those words are more even toned and natural.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

There's a desperate want, one that anyone who's ever met anyone called 'Shiro', no extra empathy needed, would notice right now, in the young man.

"I want that, too! Please-"

"But- only if. You must first promise me, honestly, that if I'm ever a danger to you, you'll leave me. Promise me. I couldn't live with myself if I'd hurt you. When you've been so kind to me."

So, if ever... leave. And never look back, he thinks. Won't say, he's said enough, he's sure.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

The feelings that come after his blurted words cause his heart to race and emotions flutter wildly.

"No." Ziggy says stubbornly as he nouzzles into Hiroki's neck. "I will find you help but I won't abandon you. I know.... I can feel that you don't want to hurt anyone."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"That's not your call, and how stupid can you be, what if I love you, and don't want to kill you if something happens, if I'm ever again not myself?! You utter-- idiot!!"

He's yelling now.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy frowns at the raised voice and the waves of nausea that come with them. "And if I love you? Would you walk away from someone you care for because someone else demanded you do it?"

He's passionate but also stoic and calm. Stubborn gaze and unwilling to yield.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"I understand," he says, "and I'm sorry."

"I'm really sorry, you're just leaving me no choice," Hiroki Shirogane says, and gets up, ready to leave, and, right now, planning to, if nothing changes... planning to never come back to this warm and cosy house, unfortunately.

But... he's a Paladin of Voltron. As such - well, he can't potentially leave an innocent person with a monster, a demon, as far as he's concerned, if that was to ever happen again, now, can he?

That's how it is, isn't it? He outwardly calmly goes in the direction of the door.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Antheans are a fragile people but what they lack in strength they make up for with speed. Ziggy is in front of him, blocking his path.

"You don't get to hurt me now because you're afraid of tomorrow." Ziggy's calm but there's hurt in the tone and a stubborn arrogance in his gaze. Ziggy has decided that the only way he's leaving is if Hiroki physically throws him out of the way.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"If you saw me fight and try to murder my brother - and he'd be dead, really, if he wasn't so lucky - you wouldn't be trying this right now."

"It's so amusing to see you try, really, either way... you think you can stop me? With what?"

[ziggyplayedguitar]

The hell with this nonsense! The arguing is upsetting him too much.

"Yes." It's out of sheer frustration that Ziggy grabs Hiroki. One hand with a death grip on the front of his shirt and the other around the back of his neck tugging. The kiss he plants on the other man is hot, passionate and full of the affection that is starting to feel like madness. Though, isn't love supposed to feel like madness?

This is probably, definitely, incredibly reckless but Ziggy doesn't care, never has.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

He kisses back, he can't help it.

After the kiss, however, he... he doesn't step away, doesn't break the contact, he should, he should, but he can't, he...

Hiroki Shirogane mutters,

"Just for once, please, think of yourself. What do you want? What do you live for? And ask yourself this: would you jump into fire for me? If not, just step back and let me go. You'll regret trying to stop me, otherwise. This is no joke, Ziggy. And this isn't some safe disco night club. Ask yourself. And step back."

Er... hmmm.... he might've not worded it best. How to put it....?

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"I want you." It's more determined and less frantic than the last time he said it a few moments ago. He looks into Hiroki's eyes for just a moment, sorting feelings and actually mulling over what he's saying.

"I'd probably put the fire out instead of jumping in." He comments with a little sass and sarcasm. "I'm not going to regret it. Have you stopped to ask whether you'd regret walking out on me?"

He asks with seriousness but his long fingers are just gripping more tightly to Hiroki's shirt.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

If Ziggy's been trying to make one dead clone fall for him, head over heels, then congratulations, Ziggy's just succeeded.

The question startles 'Shiro', no, Hiroki Shirogane, however, because of how purely nonsensical it is. He would regret walking out on Ziggy. That's not even in question, never was, since the beginning. Of course he wo--- will--w--

Quiznak. Fuck it all. If I don't go now, right this tick, I never will, I can't, I... don't...why is he making it more difficult? Just so that it hurts me more, once I leave? Fine!, 'Shiro', no, not quite thinks. Well. He thinks.

"You're neither a child, nor a king. You can't have everything you want, sorry to say. You don't need me, you never did, I'm the one who needed you, and you know that, too. You don't need me at all. Let go. I'm leaving. Because, you-"

He's not moving to leave, because Ziggy's gripping him right now, and he knows the other is ever so fragile, it seems.

Because, you...

Ziggy...

Because unlike him, some fabricated existence, a lie, a fake copy of a real broken soldier, Ziggy is real and truly, really matters.

Could he become real??

Well... how?

One can't make something out of nothing. So letting go would be best... wouldn't it?

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"Are you going to stop me?" There's bite and challenge in that question but it quickly turns heated and irritated.

"You are in no place to tell me what I need. Stop it! Just stop telling me what I want instead of listening to me." Ziggy's starting to shake from being upset over this. He didn't think it mattered this much. It felt surprising to argue. Every time in the past he let people walk or shoved them out the door. Why not now?

"...because I what?" Ziggy wants the rest of that sentence. His mismatched blue eyes are locked on Hiroki's face, waiting and stubbornly defying his request to get out of the way.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"...wait. Are you alright?" the young man asks, concerned.

Everything else can quiznaking wait. Apparently.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

He looks at him like he's lost his mind.

"No! I'm not." Ziggy frowns at him. "You can't just tell someone you love them everytime you're around, and then walk out the door like they're trash because you.... whatever you've imagined is going to happen. It's cruel."

No, this is making the trembling worse. Ziggy's not used to being upset. He goes out of his way usually to keep things calm or happy around himself. These emotions are all unexpected and uncomfortable

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"That is exactly why. Why I owe you"

"an explanation."

He gently tries to pry Ziggy's fingers open from his shirt.

"If you asked me way back when what was the first thing I remembered, I'd have told you nothing, because I knew no language. But I remember, crystal clear. My first my memory, I was drowning."

"Oh, not quite. I wasn't going to drown. But back then, I didn't know so much, was ignorant of worlds, plans, or people, or air, all I knew was, there was nothing, now there is... not nothing? And I will die drowning. Whatever 'I' is. That was all I knew for what was surely a moment, but I had thought it was eternity. Eternity is a strange word... concept...??, wordlessly, pre language, did you know? I find it very fascinating.", he whispers.

He forces himself to smile.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

There is no way he's going to pry his fingers loose without tearing the shirt or breaking fingers.

"I don't.... " Ziggy pauses and thinks quietly then starts over. "You keep telling me all of this like it is going to make me stop caring. It's doing the exact opposite... don't you see that?"

That was the truth. The more he learned about the man he was clinging to the harder he seemed to be falling. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly to regain control.

"You keep telling me you don't belong anywhere. I don't either. There's not another person like me anywhere in the universe. My father's species, humans, want my mother's dead.... most of my mother's species thinks my father's people are uncivilized animals. I don't fit anywhere. No one wants me to exist. I don't even know how long I'll survive because my genetics... they don't work together, they're not compatible."

Ziggy hasn't loosened his grip on Hiroki's shirt. "I know what it means to not have anywhere.. I didn't even get a chance to feel it for awhile, you did... you belonged somewhere for awhile."