somekindofspaceuncle | Open to anyone who wants to see Hiroki/ 'Kashi / not quite Shiro whatever, and to any who helped him

His search for a way home brought him nothing at first, for hours, for days, but then, he desperately called out to the Black Lion. And whether his a bit weak Quintessence right now, his very frayed spirit, was heard or not, he knows this: he's found a way home, if just for a few moments.

And then he's back. He looks shaken, but differently than just days prior. He knows things now.

And he looks around, making sure he's in Nexus. He is. Possibly near a library, possibly near a hotel, or a bar, or a restaurant.

He bites his lip and plays with his hair with white tufts and with black, still there, and rubs at his eyes, as if to make sure everything's still there and his own, not lost to him. He is...

Well, he is, is here, let's leave it at that. He laughs a little, mirthlessly, then stops upon hearing himself. No, this is... he musn't have regrets. He has no rights to those, ever. He has no right, none, not after everything's he (gave in and) done (if he struggled more, and more, more, could he have helped-- he thought he struggled as much as he could've, but how could that be true, if he still gave in, even in front of-

Katie, Lance, Keith, everyone, and whoever that new Altean girl was, and, Lotor-

So, no, he has no rights to any going back, none-

He knows that, now. He thinks so. He's here because-- he promised, a few people. Can't just go away if he has swore.

"Am I dead?" he mutters, under his breath.

(He's very much alive as far as the Nexus is concerned.)

"I'm probably dead," he adds, still under his breath.

He shakes his head, as if checking that he can still do so, with his own head. The important thing was, is, that apart from the Castle, everyone and everything was safe, for, huh, his definition of safe. He should be celebrating that right now. He should. Maybe he will, soon. It did no one any good to get caught on petty, selfish details.

Yeah.

He stretches a bit. Since he still apparently has own muscles, here, might as well use those to get less tense. Accidentally, he yawns. Just, outright.

Er.

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From:

somekindofspaceuncle

"Y-yes, it had to be her."

It... yes.

"Ye-yes, it was her. It was... Honerva. Whatever she said, I wouldn't have understood even now, it was a foreign language. Anyway... I--"

"S-sorry, I need a moment, I need to... breathe..."

The memories. Those ones. How come he has them, anyway? But apparently he has them. But he never remembered until he remembered, and it's true.

The memories, they... perhaps they're best not remembered, because they hurt, and he can barely breathe, right now, and he might either hyperventilate or stop breathing. He needs air, he thinks.

From:

ziggyplayedguitar

"She better stay away." Fury rushes through his emotions and with it the ill feelings. "She'll never bother you again."

He steps back but he can't bear letting go of the shirt. He can feel the pain and falters in indecision. A moment later he hugs Hiroki. "Whatever has happened, you'll always be welcome here....with me."

From:

somekindofspaceuncle

He will appreciate all this, surely, but right now he's a little busy breathing.

Quiznak it all.

From:

ziggyplayedguitar

Ziggy doesn't let go. He just stands there holding him. Finally, hand hurting from being clenched so long, he lets go of Hiroki's shirt, if only to wrap bother arms around him while he catches his breath.

From:

somekindofspaceuncle

"If you...are sure... you understand... that I don't know if I won't do something utterly horrible to you if I stay... even if I don't want to... to ever, ever hurt you--- if you understand that. Then... I will stay."

From:

ziggyplayedguitar

"Life is risky if you actually want to live it." Ziggy finally smiles briefly while stroking Hiroki's hair. "I would rather risk, would rather run the risk on you, than not live whatever life I have."

Ziggy sighs and the tension very slowly starts to leave his body. He's feeling exhausted from the strain.

From:

somekindofspaceuncle

There's simply. So many, many feelings, all his very own, and many of them contradictory. So, that was possible - contradictory, conflicting emotions - when he was, now, only simply his own person... thing... too?

Huh. Right. True, that happens sometimes. Even to the real people. It had happened sometimes in old memories, too. That is, in memories not truly his own, he knew now. That felt a bit more distant, with every... In Takashi Shirogane's memories. Doesn't mean they can't pop up, sometimes, still, irrelevantly, at convenient times and at most inconvenient times.

Takashi, how important am I to you?

I can't go through this again.

Don't expect me to be here once you come back.

Ah-

The clone shakes his head. The memory really isn't relevant to the situation at hand, and, oh Voltron, what would Ziggy say, anyway?

Once he quite catches his breath again, he cackles.

Then, after a moment, he says,

"Were I a good person, truly, I'd leave you forever right now. You're too good for me, and I know that. Well, not just now. You were, that time before the elevator...no. You always were. I didn't know that, back then, because I didn't remember I'm not- not even Takashi Shirogane, if that'd be enough."

"You just can't imagine the future, yet. That's nice. But I can. Someday, surely you'll rightly hate me for staying. Just as Voltron surely hates me right now."

Surely.

No, he hasn't asked them, the Team, and the Black Lion, and the coalition, why bother?

Wait. Matt Holt was in Nexus. Not hating Shi.... Hiroki. Not hateful at all, just surprised. Confused.

Maybe there was a flaw in Ta... in Hiroki Shirogane's reasoning.

His eyes widen. Had he been letting his own remorse rule him and override everything?

Ah, but why should he NOT?
But...
"If I ever... if I kill you someday, I'll kill myself right after I'm back to my senses."
And, finally, he returns the hug, shakily.

"So... it's alright to be here, I hope. If life's a risk and all, as you say. Can I also... call this place home...? Just for a little bit, I swear."

Please, Ziggy, Hiroki now thinks-- feels.

From:

ziggyplayedguitar

"I hope someday you realize you're a good person." Ziggy whispers. What else can he do. The whole ordeal has exhausted him. He has half his mind to just curl up with Hiroki somewhere and sleep. He rarely sleeps, though he's not like his mother's people who never sleep, but right now the comfort of laying down with someone to rest is incredibly appealing.

Ziggy looks at him and shakes his head. "Hiroki, I can imagine a future. It's just not the dark one you see."

Was that right? Ziggy tried to think if he had been imagining a future. No, but now he just might. It hurts though to hear anything about suicide. Ziggy doesn't want to imagine anyone dead, especially not people close to him.

"I invited you here." Ziggy reminds him then smiles. "My lifestyle's a bit manic but I want to be part of your home. I hope you'll stay longer than a little bit."

It felt so weird to say that, so very strange but it also felt right.

From:

somekindofspaceuncle

"Thank you."

That's not enough. But there are no words that are.

From:

ziggyplayedguitar

"You're welcome." Ziggy smiles. He isn't always one for words either. Emotions and reckless actions are more his usual.

"Come sit and rest." He laughs quietly. "You'll need to learn to actually make yourself at home here, if you want it to be your home."

From:

somekindofspaceuncle

Hiroki Shirogane sits down heavily at closest chair or anything. Flops down, really.

Exhausted.

"Arya... Quiznak, you're right, I'm still a little tired."

From:

ziggyplayedguitar

Ziggy tugs at his hand. "Why don't we, or you at least, go lay down in the bed where it's comfortable."

From:

somekindofspaceuncle

"Vrepit sa... I mean... yeah, sure..."

Goes there.

From:

ziggyplayedguitar

The wierd words cause a ripple of worry that quickly passes. Ziggy doesnt slip usually but he can speak his mother's language.

Own him to the bedroom "Do you want me tk stay while you sleep?"

From:

somekindofspaceuncle

"If you have nothing better to do, go ahead."

From:

ziggyplayedguitar

"You are what's better." Ziggy grins wide waiting for an argument over that.

From:

somekindofspaceuncle

He's going to yield here, because, knowing this man, he won't win this argument, even if he feels it's patently false and untrue. He knows that Ziggy could find many that'd be much better for him.

"Mhm."

He smiles, despite himself. Maybe - this is the first time in this life, if this was a beginning of a new life, literally, for him... that he's felt like smiling.

It's confusing, really.

And Ziggy is confusing him, he truly is. But it's not an evil kind of confusion, no, this is a... a kind of confusion that one doesn't mind, because-

He wants more of it, he feels. And he - is trying not to fall in love. He's got to - not to love that man, somehow. He'll fight this. He has to. For him.

From:

ziggyplayedguitar

Ziggy could feel the confusion and he had some of his own. It was not as strong here in the bedroom. To lay with someone; either for sex or to just sleep.. that was known territory. It is comfortable territory. The emotions earlier and the way he feels faint when Hiroki smiles at him is wholly new.

....and he just doesn't want him to stop smiling at him. Ziggy distracts himself by taking off his boots which make him shorter. Probably the first time since they met that Ziggy isn't taller than Hiroki. Once the boots are off though he just stares at Hiroki.

"How undressed are you comfortable with?" He asks and realizes as soon as it is out of his mouth that it is an utterly stupid and weird question. Too late now. It's been said. Ziggy can't help but feel this would be so much easier if they were just having sex and not doing whatever this was with all the extra attachments.

From:

somekindofspaceuncle

Did he want an answer?

Hiroki just blushes and turns away instantly once Ziggy asks.

From:

ziggyplayedguitar

He did, or rather he asked it to be polite in case Hiroki didn't want him undressed. He doesn't know what to do now. The blush and the way the other man turns away creates such nervous energy, surely the other man must feel it... and that is nerve wracking and embarrassing.

"I'm going to go take my make up off." He offers as confidently as he can before heading directly to the bathroom. He does need to clean it off so he doesn't ruin the bedding but he's more hiding from his own uncertainty. Maybe Hiroki will just be in the bed when he comes out and he won't have to face anything more.

Edited Date: 2020-06-21 12:48 pm (UTC)

From:

somekindofspaceuncle

Hiroki is in bed. In fact, he's pretending to sleep.

Eyes closed, so for all he knows, Ziggy might be naked by now. In fact, he can pretend he is, as he's picturing him naked right now.

From:

ziggyplayedguitar

Ziggy isn't, in fact completely undressed. He's in a pair of small, white, silk shorts. He can tell Hiroki isn't sleeping but the feelings coming off of him freeze Ziggy in the middle of the room. It takes a couple breaths, heart pounding in his chest, or well his back as it were because of his alien biology, same thing... same feeling.

Ziggy slowly makes his way to the bed and gets in on the right side to curl up against Hiroki. His breath his short, heart pounding. He feels crazy and all he wants to do is start kissing the man beside him. He lays as still as possible afraid to move because it feels too good to be beside him.

From:

somekindofspaceuncle

Shiro's clone's breath hitches, he stands up and without a word, runs to the bathroom, or the toilet, there has to be one here or the other nearby.

From:

ziggyplayedguitar

The way he gets up abruptly startles a cry out of Ziggy who was just trying to relax himself. There is of course a bathroom off the bedroom.

Ziggy just sits up and stares, absolutely confused. He doesn't even have a chance to clear his head enough to pick up the emotions that might be attached to it.

Edited Date: 2020-06-21 01:42 pm (UTC)