The Return! Private to one Ziggy Stardust. And Ziggy's parents, maybe, why not.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

On borders on Nexus, maybe, whenever that might be, or maybe in some forest, there's suddenly something up in the sky. A giant robot, mostly white. And giant is not an euphemism for slightly big, there, he's really giant, alright? Yeah.

The robot... he lands on the ground, and stops.

Suddenly, at the foot of the robot, an ethereal White Lion appears. Yea, literally. It's not a familiar sight, and he won't feel familiar to anyone who comes by. But he'll feel ancient, to anyone who comes by. Yes, no mind abilities needed for that. He'll just give that impression by his very being.

Ancient one.

And he can be seen. He looks like he's made simply of light, or maybe of something even far more ethereal. He's intensely white-blue and is glowing. Anyone who comes by can see him. He strolls around, seeming to be waiting for something.

After perhaps an hour or three, said something does happen, apparently.

Something shimmers, at the foot of the robot, blue-white light shimmers. Finally, the light forms a silhoutte, at first, of a man, perhaps.

And keeps forming, slowly. It might take a few more moments.

The White Lion meanwhile, now, as this strange probably to any onlookers if there be any, light show commence, jumps swiftly onto the giant robot, and disappears.

All that stays behind is said giant robot, and also, at the foot of it, the slowly forming... person, man, it's apparent now. One with a multitude of feelings. Might feel familiar. Very, very familiar.

Comments

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"'m not dead now, Ziggy."

"Hey. Hey, Ziggy. Take it easy. You've worried Mother and Father a lot, you know. That's rude of you."

He leans closer and kisses Ziggy's forehead. Utterly real Hiroki Shirogane here, with all the familiar contents. Though he can also surely feel something about him, some ancient energy, unfamilliar one to Ziggy yet, woven through Hiroki, almost like stitches holding Hiroki together. But all that there, all the inside, apart from that, is truly Hiroki, the one he knows.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

The kiss to his forehead makes him shake and he clings to Hiroki. He gets his arm around Hiroki's neck and won't let go.

"I..." Ziggy starts but he's lost in the feeling of touch. "I..didn't want to be awake anymore when you were gone."

He's not saying it directly because he wasn't actively trying but there's still an undertone of suicide in his words. Ziggy didn't want to die, but he also didn't want to be awake either.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"That's fine. I'm here now. Okay? So, you have to take care of yourself. Understood? And then I'll always be here. Always."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

If he can manage it, Ziggy is going to crawl right into Hiroki's lap and huddle himself against his chest. He's a mess from thinking Hiroki was dead. It broke something he needs to rebuild.

"I need you here."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"Okay. Okay. Ziggy. Just promise you'll care for yourself, too. Listen, okay? You've gotta promise me that. You've gotta promise me that you won't overdose, ever again, Ziggy. Promise me."

Hiroki says it quietly, but like an order. It sounds like an order, like an ultimatum, almost. It's just... the thought of Ziggy, doing that... so, he...

Well...

"Ziggy, promise me."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"I'll try." It's all he can do right now. Promise to try. He knew he was going to die anyway, to save the Earth. However, the desire to die is fading.

"I'll try." He repeats again.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"Ziggy..."

"Alright, Ziggy."

Hiroki closes his eyes, leans closer and kisses him most gently. He's crying. He's also glowing a bit. Just a thing that might happen, sometimes, now. Blue-whitish light. It's warm.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy falls desperately into that kiss. He thought he'd never touch them again, never feel his presence. Ziggy can't help the tears from his own emotions and the flood of them from his partner.

"Hiroki, I love you." Ziggy whispers when the kiss finally breaks. "I need you."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"Don't be silly, you don't need me at all, Ziggy. You can have anything you want, anywhere. You can have the moon. You don't need me. You don't need some reforged leftovers. But if you want me, I'm here. I'm here, Ziggy. Ziggy, do you want me? If you want me, I'm yours. Whatever it takes. No matter what you do, or say, and how many you love, and even if you love others more than you love me. It's fine. I'm yours, if you want me, if you want me even a little. Yours, Ziggy."

Hiroki's still glowing, hasn't really noticed it yet. He smiles softly.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Hiroki's words take his breath away and turn the relatively happy tears to sad sobbing. Ziggy starts pulling away to climb back in the bed. After what he'd experienced being forcibly told he doesn't need Hiroki is painful.

"Maybe I should have died." He needs away from Hiroki, sorrow and rejection flaring wildly in his emotions. "...if you don't...if you still think you mean nothing to me."

Ziggy really wants to just shrink away into nothing. It's true that he wants him but if the careening into drug laden despair taught ziggy anything, it was that he truly needed this man in his life. Not just want, needed. To have that so bluntly rejected felt crushing.

Sorry in advance... :( ... pffftt

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Oh, no. Ziggy can probably feel sudden and utter despair and self-loathing in Hiroki right now, surely pretty palpable.

Hiroki leans closer. And that bluish-whitish light evelopes Ziggy a bit, too.

And Ziggy can suddenly see memories, fragmented... with a feeling like watching those particular ones through the fog, or through prison bars, or through a veil purposefully put over by someone, back then, but the memories are there, and they're strong. And full of pain. <>Sorry.<> But Hiroki doesn't know he's practically broadcasting them, fragments of painful memories, right now.

Hiroki doesn't know Ziggy's seeing this right now.

So while this is happening there, there's just this feeling that Hiroki feels he's hurting somebody he loves, again. Hurting his beloved right now just as he's hurt his little brother or something else. Just causing suffering to--

So while this is happening there, he leans closer.

"Ziggy, Ziggy, I'm sorry. Ziggy. Alright. I love you. I truly do. I don't know when I've started to fall in love with you? When I saw you? Maybe later? But, that's not important. Now, I love you. I love you. I mean, like a lover. And more. More. I wanted ---- no, I'm fine with waiting. Alright. Listen. I love you. Listen. Fine. You need me. Fine. As long as you need me, I'm here. Ziggy, please. You can need me if you... need to... I just... I shall stay here, forever. Forever."

He's honest. With all of his mind and soul.

"Well, you can die if you want to. I'll just kill myself, if you do. At once. I, I love you. Ziggy! Fine, you need me. And I need you, you can't even-- I can't even-- I need you. I need you, Ziggy. That's why-- that's why!"

He stops glowing. And looks close to fainting from exhaustion.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

The memories only depress Ziggy farther. He doesn't undertand them but he can surly feel the pain connected to them.

Ziggy put a hand on Hiroki. He doesn't want him leaning in. "You promised me!! You promised you wouldn't push me away and.... and you die and come back and you're still pushing me away."

Ziggy's emotions suddenly breaks away from his control. "I SAY I NEED YOU AND YOU TELL ME I DON'T... YOU MAKE THE CHOICE FOR ME. WHY THE HELL AM I HERE IF YOU REFUSE TO BELIEVE I CARE???"

He needs a few breaths to calm down, chest heaving from the emotions. "I need you to believe me. I don't even know if you believe I feel anything for you."

Ziggy is feeling exhausted too and sick. He really shouldn't be up and moving this much after what he's done to his body.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki takes a step back. Or a few.

Anger flares up, and he yells, loudly,

"WELL, EXCUSE ME, Princess, I apologise for dying and inconveniencing You soooooo much, should I bring flowers?!"

"And if I for one quiznaking tick believed You didn't love me, I wouldn't quiznaking arrive myself over here, and get a quiznaking body, and stay here and beg like a quiznaking dog for you not to commit suicide, beg like I've only begged twice in my whole quiznaking life, before!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT???!! I WILL RIGHT NOW STAY IN THIS ROOM!! I SHALL BE HERE, RIGHT HERE, WATCHING YOU BREATHE, 'CAUSE I QUIZNAKING LOVE YOU, LIKE YOU LOVE ME, FINE, HAVE IT YOUR WAY, ZIGGY, YOU QUIZNAKING IDIOT!! IF YOU'RE UNHAPPY--"

"IF YOU--"

Breathe. Breathe.

"If you... are unhappy with that... feel free to quiznaking kill me... otherwise I'm not l...leaving...your...side. Fuck!"

Hiroki glows again. And when the glow disappears, he suddenly has claws on his only hand. He takes a swipe at the wall, leaving deep claw marks on the wall.

"I will always love you and I know believe YOU LOVE ME, YOU'RE A MORON ENOUGH TO LOVE ME, FINE!! SO. You love me. Fine! Too bad for you, because I've you FIRST, AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, ZIGGY!! So. Get. Yourself. Back to life. Cuz. I.m. here. To. Stay!!! I love you as much as you love me, Ziggy, you utter quiznaking moron and I wanna be yours, and, and, and... I quiznaking love you, and I quiznaking believe you!! YOU THINK I DON'T???!! THAT'S NOT YOUR CALL, ZIGGY!!! I. BELIEVE. YOU. QUIZNAK, SHUT UP AND TRUST ME, ZIGGY!!!"

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy is feeling sick from his yelling, the anger coming off Hiroki, just the general situation. It leaves him shaking but then the claws.

Anything he would have said is lost in a high pitched cry of real fear, not emotional fear but visceral fear for his life. He's been attacked too many times and the mix of raised voices and the damage to the wall is too much.

He actually scoots over the far side of the bed, backwards and huddles down against the wall. By the time he's curled up Ziggy is dry heaving. It would be vomiting but he hasn't eaten anything in so long.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki glows again and then the claws are suddenly gone.

The young man looks mortified and angry at himself.

He whispers, softly,"I love you. I need you. And I believe you. So. Trust me. Please... please, forgive me. Ziggy. Please, please, forgive me, Ziggy..."

And then, he sobs into his own hand. He's suddenly... scared...

Ziggy can surely feel that, too.

"Your parents will probably kill me. But I don't care. I'm staying here."

That's very visibly not what he is scared of. Who cares? This is Hiroki Shirogane trying to lighten the mood.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

They're both scared and the mix of feelings and screaming has Tom come to the door to check on them. When he notices that it looks like an argument he leaves the children to work it out.

It takes awhile before Ziggy peers over the bed and then crawls back on top. He's nervous but willing to forgive.

"Come here." Ziggy pleads and opens his arms to Hiroki.

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki comes over and gingerly leans into Ziggy's embrace. He wants to literally fall into it, but he won't, he can't... stupid, stupid brittle bones of his Ziggy... so he just... as gently as he can...

"Ziggy. I'm here, Ziggy. I... You should know I adore you. I've missed you, in IGF-Atlas. I have. Ziggy!!"

Hugs. He's crying. Hiroki Shirogane never knew he had this many tears to cry!

"The wall," Hiroki utters, suddenly. "Ziggy, I...The wall. My bad. Sorry!"

[ziggyplayedguitar]

He could probably fall against him but why risk it? Ziggy pulls Hiroki into a hug, squeezing him tightly.

"Forget the wall." Ziggy tells him just before he presses a passionate kiss to his lips. "I love you."

He leans in to Hiroki, sliding his way into his lap. There's nowhere he would rather be. "I missed you so much I couldn't think."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"But that wall's never done anything to me," Hiroki says, smiling shakily. "It was innocent."

He kisses Ziggy, passionately. Very much so.

After, he says,

"Mhm. Me neither. Couldn't think. Might've something to do with not being quite there, I was full of holes, but, what do I know? It's all a blur, sometimes."

"I'd give you the stars, but honestly, I think they should stay where they are, I'm not Honerva."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

"I'm sure it forgives you." He laughs and just adores curling up against Hiroki.

"I don't want the stars. I want you." And he meant it in all ways; to be here, to love, and right now as a lover, too. "I thought I would never feel your touch again, or the way you emotions light up when we're close."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

"I'm glad to be forgiven, then," he utters, gazing adoringly right into Ziggy's eyes. The blue-white glow, like a halo, is there again, suddenly, but no memories come through right now, only love, directly. Love and warmth, and devotion, and relief, and desire, and friendship, and delight, and attachment, and adoration, and near worship, with lots of affection. Most directly.

"I didn't know I'd be forgiven. So, how can I thank for such forgiveness? Any ideas? Please."

"Mhmmmm..."

[ziggyplayedguitar]

Ziggy meets his gaze smiling but then his eyes drift closed and his forehead, where he usually paints the gold disk, starts to glow. He can let Hiroki feel his emotions, the euphoria and joy to have him back, the comfort of being held, love, attraction, desire, compassion... and there's a tendril of that spirit looking for a place to cling to Hiroki.

Ziggy ran his fingers over the paladin's bare chest. "Stay with me. Make love to me. Let me love you."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

Hiroki's no longer a defenseless unknowing slave, he's fee now, and there are defences there that can be put up. However, this is Ziggy. So that tendril's eagerly welcomed and can cling anywhere. Ziggy might even brush past something that feels a bit like the White Lion.

Ziggy's euphoria resonates with Hiroki. He's been worried, ever so worried for Ziggy, ever since Aletayria's informed the White Lion of Ziggy's sickness and he's told him, but now, he can't help but wanting to feel euphoric, too.

Can one be worried and delighted? Because Hiroki is, right now.

"Hmm, and here I thought I was very, very terrible in bed. You sure? You'll utterly embarass me. And you won't be satisfied."

He's half-kidding.

He's glowing, by the way, still, literally, doubly so, brilliant shining blue, when Ziggy reaches into him.

"Still, whatever my Ziggy desires," he adds, "your wish is my command," before taking the Anthean's hand and placing a kiss on the palm of it, passionately.

[ziggyplayedguitar]

If Hiroki clings he might get a hint of the residual despair that Ziggy felt when he thought the man he loved/loves was dead. The extreme sedation from drugs and alcohol but it's fading away.

That tendril wraps into Hiroki's emotions. It takes time to bind, months even. He's not trying to do this. It's instinct, as much as knowing when it's right to kiss.

"You're new to it." Ziggy smiles wide, pressing a kiss to Hiroki's chest. "... but you already feel good. It's only going to get better."

Ziggy was going to answer but that kiss to his palm draws a moan and a flutter of arousal through Ziggy's emotions. His palm turns wet and his body presses into Hiroki's. His free hand grabbing at the other man's shoulder. "God! Do your lips feel good."

[somekindofspaceuncle]

The young Paladin of Atlas is completely and utterly flabbergasted. Floored.

Hiroki takes a few ticks time to think about it, then kisses Ziggy's hand's palm again, with feeling, slowly, and tries to do this more sensually now.